Will a vibrator be the death of my life?

She is not going to like the vibrator more than you, unless you start to distance yourself because you are feeling self-conscious about it. On the contrary, get into to it more every chance you get and help her use her toys. She will adore you for it. Go ahead and get her one that is not intimidating to you or her. Try the LELO brand, they make very soft and subtle products. Good luck.